The Weekly Plunder: Week 9 - Pain with an Anchor

Winter first sinks its talons into you in the early morning and evening hours. Outside my window I can see a thin coating of frost on the neighboring library’s lawn grass; it glistens under the early morning moonlight and the city street lamps.

We (I) have to accept our (my) present situation. It can be easy to dwell on the bad and forsake the good. I attempted a run on Wednesday and quickly felt a damaged ligament tear open again; I guess it wasn’t fully healed and couldn’t take the impact that running requires. Running was a horrible mistake. I’ve felt severe pain in my walk since. If it doesn’t abate in the next few days I’ll visit a doctor. It seems that I can’t put a timetable on a return to running. It won’t be soon, I do know that, and that sucks. That’s just reality.

I can still ride a bicycle, so there’s that. Last week I managed a hike, and I should regain that ability quickly. I just have to accept a long waiting period before running is possible. Until then, I’m sure I’ll dream about it. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.

That’s okay. There’s too much good in life to dwell. I’m trying to reign my thoughts in to focus on what good I can do today.

What I’m watching: Willy’s Wonderland starring Nicolas Cage. This is a terrible film. Even as a Cage apologist I regret paying for this one. Let the man speak, that’s what we pay for!

What I’m reading: My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open by Tanya Goodin. It’s amazing how much social pressure there is to have an “online identity,” and how much of ourselves is stolen by giving this identity to social media companies.

What I’m listening to: “Pain as an Anchor” by Mastodon. The opening song on their new album. Title seems relevant to my foot. It’s an eerie and somewhat melancholic rocker. I actually like it, and usually I’m not a fan of the band.

What I’m doing: The weather will warm up by noon today. I’ll do a group bike ride with some friends, then visit my favorite winery tomorrow. Wearing the foot brace again. I didn’t expect to be physically limited for this long. But it’s important to not have expectations.

What I’m thinking: Thinking about a classic film called The Crazies. In the movie there’s an unknown virus that turns people more belligerent and violent. It hits a small town and a mass paranoia sets in as people wonder who is infected and who isn’t. How can you tell when the only symptom is aggressive behavior?

When I walk the downtown streets I see more belligerent behavior than usual. Maybe it’s because people were cooped inside for so long, many not working, many isolated, many stress-watching television or stress-reading news on phone screens. People do generally seem angrier and more anxious in urban areas. They drive more aggressively and indeed, by virtually all metrics, crime and obesity are rising.

Finally I’m thinking that there is too much beauty in the world to dwell on the negatives for long. Our days are finite. There’s always a pleasant surprise around the corner, regardless of what’s behind us… we just need to let ourselves look ahead. Always thinking about what my Chinese student Tony told me, back in 2018: “Be happy every day.”